its really amazing how important trust is this daes...
As far as i noe, i try my best to keep all my promises,
and all secrets to myself.
i wanna explain to that person,
that i really did not tell her your little secret.
i really, really didnt.
i was harsh in my previous posts,
because i was really angry.
my best sister did nt trust me...
it really hit the blind spot.
it hurt so much.
i couldnt believe my eyes.
bt here, i want to tell u that,
i really did nt tell her anything.
never will i do such a thing,
because i noe the feeling of being
BETRAYED.
i noe it very well,
the horrible feelin.
the anger with yourself becus u trusted the wrong person.
that feelin is unforgettably horrible.
And that i was nt aiming any remarks at you.
i was jus havin some fun with someone.
and that she happens to be singin that song, so i followed
and u would notice that we did nt sing the song in front of you,
which is wat i would do if i wanted to spite u...
although the volume is a little high,
u might have heard us singin, bt my voice is really LOUD.
i cant change the fact that i am LOUD...
we did nt gang up or whatsoever
to hurt you.
to humiliate you.
if it bothers you,
i wont mention that name again
ever again.
if it bothers you,
i will forget about that christmas carol,
i will nt sing it.
But i really wanna reconcile.
our fwenship is broken enough,
it cannt afford anymore cracks and impacts,
lets work hand in hand to glue it bac together,
bac to its original state.
somehow or rather,
everyone has this barrier in their hearts.
it so happens that one of those many barriers i have
is my fear that u would not accept me again.
fear that our broken fwenship might affect others.
fear that i will lose u as my fwen.
due to my impulsiveness,
due to my pride,
due to my 'insensitiveness'
well nt really insensitive, bt
more of well, impulsive
not stoppin to think abt the consequences...
well, does it mean insensitive?
well, i dun really noe.
any way, on the scale of ten,
i tink that 5 out of ten is impulsive
the other 5 is insensitive...
~sigh~
its my pride acting up again,
if u ever read this blog again, and u come across this
entry, stop and think abt the happy moments we've had,
and think whether we could ever be friends again...
somehow, i feel empty these daes,
maybe that missing part of my life is true frenship...
i dun noe...
really...